My name is Eve Victus. I have two children: Lily, my older, and Abel, my younger. I am Vael Victus's lover, and he fathers my children. Let me make this clear: we're lovers. You can compliment me, flirt with me, that's fine. It's also a little dangerous.
You see, Vael isn't some regular scrubnub "internet" person. While he is human, his connections to the underworld and the years he's spent living amongst such a populace are testament to the danger of angering him. "Awaken!" he will shout, and from beneath the ground shall rise a chimeric mass of creature - abominable, terrifying, unruly yet bound to him.
The horizon shall blacken. The clouds will dissipate with a fizzle. The creature will swallow him and he will control this creature, enact his vengeance, and proceed to exit by ripping himself out of it. He will land upon the soil, scorching any life undertoe. He's also rather good in bed, so save your advances for someone whose lover will not cause you undescribable anguish.

20th February 2012

Photoset reblogged from Thoughts On a Liberal Education... with 72,713 notes

the-sauce-sarcastic:

If this is not just the weirdest fucking thing ever…

<3

Tagged: DogsAnimalsPetsCupcakesFoodFunnyLolCuteAdorableGIFs

Source: rusty-kuntz

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    One of the webs greatest, tried to find the Vietnam remix but that’ll have to wait I guess.
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    omg this made me laugh so harddddddd